A sad, I haz it. I feel like I’ve spent the last two days pulling myself out of some unnamed murky abyss that I’ve been flailing around in for the last month. Every year I hope it will get better, I hope it won’t hit me. Every year like clockwork the curtains fall somewhere around the beginning to end of January and don’t roll themselves back up until the sun starts shining in April or May.
I want to make it abundantly clear that I blame (I do not really blame my parents for any of this shit) all of this shit on my parents. Those people took me to Florida every single year and *gasp* encouraged me to play outside every chance I got. Because of them I now have an addiction to vit D and turn into an absolute mess when winter rolls around every year. I hate you winter.
Maybe next year I’ll do as I say and not as I do and haul my butt to the GP for a low dose antidepressant to get me through. I must remember that I’m not the only one that suffers in my illness, my family suffers. Mental illness is like that though– she’s a cruel mistress that convinces you that you’re the only one who could possibly be suffering as much as you are. Ms. Mental Illness takes pride in isolating you from the ones you love and the ones who love you. Ms. Mental Illness can sometimes feel like the worst kind of inside joke you play on yourself over and over and over again with the self-loathing thoughts and the negative actions.
I’m an oversharer, it’s kind of what I do. I don’t care to share my struggles because for me it’s therapeutic to let people in on my secrets. I process via oversharing. Plus if anyone ever stumbles across this post and you haz a sad too, don’t hesitate to contact me. We can commiserate together, in the rain, with David Tennant.
So my running has suffered. But I know it hasn’t suffered as much as it FEELS like it has in my head. Today I made it 5 glorious miles in the sunshine and warmth wearing a tank top and shorts. I even got a slight tan. I immediately felt worlds better.
I’ll do better I swear. I’ve gotten my hair done. I bought myself some new running clothes. I may buy a new pair of shoes. But I’ll do better. Pinkie Promise. 😀
I really dig Athleta tank tops. I love the ruching on the front for those days when your belly just isn’t on point with the bloat and all…
She’s a diva.
How about those Kentucky wildcats baby? SEC champions for 2014!!! Only 6 more games to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I bleed blue)